Fear and the Road to Freedom
I sit down to write and my brain goes completely blank. My first blog. I've had hundreds of journals over the years, but only during my Master Coach certification did I begin to share my writing with Martha Beck and fellow coaches.
So, I sit down to write, to go public, and within five minutes I need more coffee. I get up, pour coffee, and go outside to let the long-lost New England sun shine on my face. Then I decide to take a walk, buy some donuts, come back, sit, write. I write a few more sentences and decide to do laundry. That'll force me to write during each timed cycle. You get the point...I'm doing what we all do when the thing in front of us feels BIG. We avoid and distract ourselves until we can't. It makes perfect sense that we procrastinate and evade, bob and weave. We want to know the outcome on the other side of this hurdle, but the only way to know is to make a move.As a coach, I deeply believe one of the most important things I can do, and have done, for my clients is "live it to give it!" Martha Beck Coaches, especially, live by this credo: To experience life using what we've learned from our training and over our lifetime. Moving through life, testing and trying our tools...I've done that in spades!In the last year, I left my well-paying full-time job, ended a 10-year relationship, moved my home, completed my Master Coach certification, crashed my MacBook Air by spilling coffee on it, bought a new car, and embarked on a large construction project. Yes! This is "living it!"But trust me, getting to a life you love does NOT mean turning everything upside down and ripping your heart out. What it does mean, however, is taking a hard honest look at what's working and what's not. Unfortunately, most of my life wasn't working for me.I needed every coaching tool I ever learned, my life depended on them. I secured my entire support network, and moved forward one single slow and steady step at a time.I'm not Superwoman. I can't think of anyone that would choose this course-I, myself, tried to avoid it for years! But now, on the other side, I serve as an example that you can and will survive essential change. It can happen. This wasn't my first trial. And it'll keep changing.I get it! Change is tough and fear is strong; but as long as we are human neither one will go away. As humans, however, we get to choose how to respond. We have so many options that will lessen the intensity and smooth our path as we crawl through the trenches. So let me repeat: we can choose.Recently, I've heard all sorts of "uncomfortable" statements, like:"Things are good right now, I'll just leave it.""The devil you know is better than the devil you don't, right?""We've tried that before, it won't work.""If I keep pushing through, it'll be OK in a year or so..."Let me tell you, life on the other side will always be WAY better! I know, I've lived it, and I've seen my clients go through it!It's scary though! It's disconcerting! Feeling uneasy is completely normal. We'll feel that way every single time we are faced with trying something new and different. It's OK!All the bobbing and weaving won't help us avoid the hit, until we find our courage to strike back. All the busyness in the world won't distract us enough, until we control our next move. We can believe we can't do it, until we believe we can.I gotta tell you, the moment you find that courage, anticipate your next step, or believe you can go through it, is the exact moment you shift your power toward the freedom and clarity you really want. You've made your first move.When you come face-to-face with fear and change - a new job, a difficult conversation, an over-scheduled life, an underperforming staff - the decision to lead your own life is your one-way road to freedom.
So, here I am. Living it to give it. Making my next move, opening for business, sharing my blog, and using my voice. It's a choice I have; it's a choice we all have. I'm here to help!